Apathetic boss calls employee ‘overdramatic’ for taking a PTO day after they put down their sick family cat, employee reports boss to HR: ‘The way my boss handled this was just unacceptable’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 5, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Losing a pet is losing a family member. Regardless of how long they spent on this earth, our beloved sidekicks devote their entire lives to showing us love, affection, and unconditional support. The love provided by cats, dogs, and every other domestic friend under the sun is more than we are given by some humans in our lives, so why wouldn't we consider them family? Bereavement should not be exclusionary to the special animals in our lives—a loss is a loss, and grief exists in many shapes and forms.

Call me optimistic, but I suspect most bosses would approve of a PTO day after a pet passes. If an employee is using PTO they've earned, the reason for their momentary absence shouldn't even need to be shared with their boss. At the end of the day, PTO exists in this weird corner of our work contracts and is reserved for us, without question—we should be able to use the days as we see fit.

Maybe the animal lover in me is taking hold as I write this, but the employee in this story has done nothing wrong. They ensured they received written approval from their boss about taking the day off, and even reached out to another coworker who could pick up the shift when their boss gave them that condition for approval. While that completely contradicts the concept of paid time off, this employee did everything they could to ensure they weren't messing up the workflow at their job. Even still, they are harassed by their boss once they rejoin their office. Scroll to read.

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  • "She began questioning my work ethic and was angry that I had taken PTO- even though she had approved it."
    via wutthichai charoenburi for Pexels

  • "AIO: For reporting my boss to HR because she called me ‘overdramatic’ over losing my cat?"

    Monday last week, we had to put down our beloved cat, Maiev. We were absolutely heartbroken. She had been in the ICU for three days, and there was nothing more they could do. Maiev was a
    via BringOtogiBack
  • seven-year-old Norwegian Forest Cat and the most lovable creature we've ever known. I won't go into details about what happened, it still hurts too much. Just know that she was very sick.
    via BringOtogiBack
  • Before we said our goodbyes, I called my boss and asked if I could take PTO the next day (Tuesday) to process everything. She responded:
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  • "This is not really a valid reason for PTO, but if you can find somebody to cover for you then that is fine, just let me know. Sorry about your loss."
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  • So, I spoke to a coworker, and they kindly offered to cover for me. I sent them all the information they needed and then messaged my boss to inform her everything was taken care of.
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  • She replied: "Ok. One day, not a single day more." That felt a bit off, but I stayed home the next day to grieve and to support my husband, who was completely shattered.
    via BringOtogiBack
  • Wednesday: My boss was clearly upset, snapping at me repeatedly. It felt like I was walking on eggshells. After lunch, she called me into her booth. I left the door slightly open-she was absolutely
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  • fuming. I could see her clenching her fists. The whole situation felt deeply uncomfortable. She began questioning my work ethic and was angry that I had taken PTO- even though she had approved it.
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  • She said: "You don't have many flex or comp hours. That reflects this. You've got a lot of time off coming up. Get it together."
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  • I responded: "You tell me I am not allowed to work overtime, that I am not allowed to come on early, so I am always at a ±0 basis on my flex hours, I don't know what you are on about. As for my time off: One is for my trip to Italy, true. But the other is surgery, that is not PTO, I am on sick leave for that."
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  • Then she said I was being too dramatic for staying home: "I would have understood if you were going to put the animal down yesterday. But the creature was already d d when you asked for the day off. You're being a bit too dramatic."
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  • Cheezburger Image 10500398336
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I explained that Maiev was not de d when I called her—that we were about to put her down 20- 40 minutes later.
    via BringOtogiBack
  • What made it worse was that she pulled me aside for this talk with no warning. She had approved the time off on the condition that I handed things over to my colleague, which I did. I kept asking:
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  • "I do not understand why you are angry, you approved the PTO, I have text from you that confirm this, what is wrong?" But she was just livid.
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  • I get that in Sweden you're not entitled to leave for putting down a pet. But the way my boss handled this was just unacceptable.
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  • We had a meeting last Friday. I informed her that I had filed a complaint with HR. She got defensive and said: "I was hoping we could solve things internally before we escalate things to HR. Needless to say, I have not broken any rules- you are not obligated PTO if your pet dies."
    via BringOtogiBack
  • I replied: "That is not where the issue lies. You approved my PTO, I have text messages. You belittled me and acted in a fashion that is not according to expectations of leaders. I said in my HR complaints
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  • that I do not expect anything to be done, rather logged by them. And that this complaint is to stop a certain kind of behaviour or trend done by you in this situation. The way you handled it, and the you spoke to me is under all scrutiny." way
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  • She said: "You're being overdramatic again." And I said: "That may be, but you are the one with a HR complaint, not me."
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  • Since then, she has barely spoken to me. It still feels like I'm walking on eggshells. Am I overreacting? Was I wrong to report this to HR?
    via BringOtogiBack
  • Imseriouslyoverit You handled this very well. Job well done. A cat dong is a family member d_ng. Period
    via Imseriouslyoverit

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